Suburbicide

No Longer Night

2007-10-04T23:09:00.000-05:00

It has been some time. At the behest of the only man to leave me a comment, i shall write more. He is no longer living, and i am ashamed not to have satisfied his request sooner. I will have more to say on that note at a later time - i'm still searching for the words. In the meantime, i have noticed that someone has gone and bought suburbicide.com. Forgive us our rhyme-jacking, as we forgive those who have rhyme-jacked against us - as Faraji used to say. Still an unoriginal shite, though. Unless of of course you, dear reader, really give Teh Fuck who or what is on his "Shit List" wow. pwned. /sarcasm Still, that isn't why i came back. For now, i suggest all of you go straight back to Google and type in "Sgt. Scott Kirkpatrick 3rd Infantry Division". It's worth reading in a world were most things aren't. Until that time, if any,, Samedi

Make Quick With It

2006-02-07T14:46:00.000-05:00

One additional note...

Suicide Bomber Kills 12 Somewhere In A Desert

Italian Bus Kills 12, Somewhere With Italians

Thankfully, German Supermarkets Can't Manage To Kill Anyone

Nepalese, On The Other Hand...

I guess we are in fact losing the War on Terror. With casualties mounting, whatever shall we do.

Samedi

All My Friends Are Dead

2006-02-07T14:02:00.000-05:00

A brief commentary about Denmark, asshole-ism, work, and my love-hate relationship with Euros.

Denmark: Danes are exciting people, and i mean that sincerely. The Samizdatas have some nifty banners donated by a frequenter of same - but i'm still sussing out good ftp space, so i don't have one.

The Danes have shown us that it is good to kick someone in the bits every now and then, just to see the look on their face. I salute you.

...and i would also like to extend a very warm "Fuck You, Clown" to the various islamic grab-asses that are busy torching embassies and each other, in the name of self-respect. Bravo.

Which brings me to my next bullet: Asshole-ism.

Asshole-ism is a condition, which i feel was best describe by Scott Weiland (formerly of STP): "The only sure-fire cure for one so afflicted, is to drag him or her to the back of this auditorium and beat the shit out of them."

I was bored and reading the Internet again. I have realized it's full of folks with nothing to say, but who are really interested in looking Smart and Sexy! ::eyeroll::
Lots of them appear to be socialists, various colors of euro-activist types, and of course, vegans.

I'm not Peter Jennings, and i don't profess to be the keeper of Secret Wisdom. I'm just a working guy who thinks too much, and who occassionally feels that his experience is suitable for high-volume play. My experiences are not unique - they are becoming the norm, and that is what matters.

So, irritating internet flamers: please join the islamofascists in attempting to copulate with yourselves.

Work: getting promoted again. Looks like the dept. is mine now. Hopefully this will get me some cash, so that i may finish college and get out of the ghetto. Newsflash: Gentrification, it's not just for minorities any more!

Euros: Sorry to be taking it out on you guys, but really, some of you need to shut the fuck up and take a vacation for a while. You've got mountains, for God's sake, visit them. Pricks.
Some dear friends of mine are from Over There, and a few are occasionally "active" in some sort of social/political manner. And that's cool. Wanna know why i still love them?

Because every time I hear from them, they say 'Hallo!', instead of "Do you have any idea what your fat American ethnocentric (I hadn't heard they made 'American' an ethnicity - i'm such a hick) ignorant backwards cowboy-hat-wearing imperialists are doing to the rest of the world?!?! Just cause you got all that freedom, or whatever, you think you can fucking RELATE to us, over here in (UK, FR, DE, DEN, etc)??!?! FUCK YOU, Yankee! Didn't your history class teach you that we're innately BETTER than you? The (* Empire) was the height of human civilization! Thats why you guys had to CHASE OUR REDCOAT-ASSES OUT OF YOUR COUNTRY! All that freedom we gave you by 1) Screaming, 2) Dying, and 3) Fucking off back to our own hemisphere makes me VOMIT. Sod off!"

I did pretty well for being mostly public educated. I read books, and occasionally i listen to Thought-Provoking Music (don't worry, it's isn't fucking U2). I'm stubborn, opinionated, and sometimes a bastard. I am not an idiot. Spare me your inane bile. Redirect it at the lovely folk burning your embassies. Goodnight.

So, in closing tonight:
Dear European Loudmouth,, I realize your schedule is often cluttered. What with protesting, sniffing glue, and flaming the hell out of every poor Yank bastard who encounters you on a msgboard, you must be tuckered at the end of the day. Despite the fact that I might want to punch you (if i ever met you in person), you may rest assured that this will most likely never happen. Whenever i visit your country (and it's very possible i have visited your country, I don't carry on in the same Screaming Nationalist Idiot fashion that you do on the Interweb. I appreciate other cultures, because i came from other cultures... like the other mob of us. Why don't you all piss off? Or failing that, come over here so we can exchange ideas... Anacostia is beautiful this time of year.

Wow, that went on for longer than I'd planned. I do hope i get some death threats in return... i love those.

That's right, in the Venn Diagram of Death Threats,, there's Me and Denmark, side by side. Ironic.

That is all,
Samedi

Somewhere in Between

2006-01-29T05:45:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I've made a Conclusion.

This is unlike a Resolution, in that it hasn't solved shit.
However, it does explain a hell of a lot.

Witness This, wherein the ever-insightful Cecil Adams puts forth the following tidbit of seemingly inconsequential data:

As it is, it's not like UNMOVIC is hiring Wernher von Braun. Controversy erupted recently when it came to light that one UN weapons analyst, Harvey John "Jack" McGeorge of Woodbridge, Virginia, had founded a "pansexual" S&M club called Black Rose, taught courses on sex slaves and bondage techniques involving ropes and choking devices, and served as an officer in the Leather Leadership Conference. His resumé lists no specialized engineering degree, just an associate's degree in security management from a community college. Nonetheless, Blix declined McGeorge's offer to resign, perhaps feeling that leadership is leadership, and that UNMOVIC could use a take-charge kind of guy. Surely if there's a place at the UN for this character, there's a place for you.

This is enlightening. The whole chicanery that is the UN, especially the part of the UN that tells us that some maniacal dictator has WMDs for 12 years, then turns around and says they knew(!) he didn't have any for at least four years (once we decide to kick down his door and fuck up his breakfast cereal).

Because all one needs to be a nuclear weapons inspector, is an AS in something vaguely "Weapons", "Mass" or "Destruction" related, and a winning smile.
Because Hans Blix, our trusted Friend and Ally, is a pal of a guy who runs a shitty BDSM party. (Bound was better, chummer)
Said person is from Hoodbridge... er, Woodbridge. I guess you have to be familiar to No. VA to get that one.
Just,, wow... wow.

How did I ever doubt the UN on Iraq? or Somalia, or Bosnia, or the entire African continent? I'm heading over to MoveOn.org and signing the fuck up, right before I kill myself.

On the flip, this makes me hopeful. As i'm in the same neighborhood, this means i can hook up a sweet job at the UN, doing something vital like weapon's inspecting,, or possibly funneling black market oil money in to my pocket. I believe i have a good shot at this for a few reasons:

I'm in to BDSM.
I don't have an engineering degree either.
I don't have any degree, come to think of it.
I do have a killer smile, i'm told.
I drink like a fish.
I would be more than happy to exploit a third world country for fun and profit.
I live around lots of Democrats, I can't help it.
I live in a slightly less ghetto part of the DC metro area, so that's gotta help.
I could have some emotional problems.

Shit man, who needs girls or guns or a nicotine habit when you can get paid to not find a mass-murdering fascist's stockpiles of VX, and then deny they ever existed to make yourself look somewhat less inept.

Everyone knows that you can just stash those fuckers under your pillow for the Nerve Gas Fairie.

I think Nerve Gas Fairie should go on my business cards.
I might be getting promoted soon. again. Not to the UN though, yet.
It will get me lots of free flights.
Robin Graves is the coolest punk-name ever, next to Dinah Cancer.
(Come on over to my house, we're making Rat Salad. I'll share my cigarettes)

Exit.

-Samedi

Economic Sanctions

2006-01-29T05:33:00.000-05:00

Writer's block is a bitch's bastard...

I did manage to wring this out recently:

Noctilucent

When we said 'No Future!' we meant it
ours, or theirs,
or yours -

25 years of pop culture couldn't kill
what died in your gutters and bars
and nightclubs and hands and
hearts -

What's already dead is hungry and hooked on
coffin nails
-and figures of speech
when i see a red door i
paint it black and go off in search
of a headshot.

in the darkness of death
there's no light in your eyes
we put a stop to all that
we still wear dead animals,
smoke in bars and drink outdoors

and when stress kills faster than cancer catches up-
and when fashion catches up i'll
already be wearing something darker
and when health and happiness fails,
remember -
i stayed out of direct sunlight.

If you destroy the brain
you destroy the ghoul

sure as age makes you more jaded
than youth ever did
and music sucks more than
music ever did
and kids pick up arms in the street
more than soldiers ever did-
damned on demand and
sick - drunk or sober,
night creatures get tired too...

-you and me
-me and you
-will go back and forth
-back and forth
-and back and forth
-forever
in the future.

-ours, theirs, yours,
-we meant it.

yeah,,
Samedi
---------------
Well it's 3 o'clock at the end of the day,, well i'm alone and i've very very worried.
-Tossers

Whispers from Dying Lungs

2005-12-31T15:27:00.000-05:00

A new year, and another chance to turn it all around.

Lets hope this one flies true.

I always know just where I'm goin'
And I usually know just where I've been
And when I am dead
They will take me and burn me
With the bottle I've drowned myself in

-The Tossers

Together, to gather, 'til then

Samedi

Kiss me, I'm Shitfaced

2005-12-26T22:15:00.000-05:00

Well, I was, anyway.

I hate the holidays, but this year has thus far passed well.

Soon the last of my boys will be home from the sandbox. For the moment, anyway.
This is good, I think.

Some holiday advice:

Don't mix whiskey and chocolate
...it will make you vomit
...blood.
Do be nice to one's family, when possible. One day they will be gone...
Irish music is not just for St. Patrick's Day
...it's a good way to avenge yourself on your neighbors
Love the weather
Love yourself
Love someone else, if possible. If not possible, see bullet #1.
If you can find some carolers, dress as Scrooge McDuck and make them pay.

Give without the expectation of receiving.

On that note, the news tells me there was a multiple homicide nearby yesterday. I'm also relatively certain there's more than a few boys who won't be coming home from the sandbox after this past weekend, and in both regards I am fortunate while others have not been. Remember that.

Praise the Fallen,
Samedi

Message-board Zealots

2005-12-02T21:29:00.000-05:00

A Thought I just had: Why do I continue to frequent message boards?

In truth, I don't post much any more. My entire career as a poster made me an instant target for ire, generally from those who have nothing better to do, or who enjoying being "Right!"

I acknowledge the wisdom behind "The common thread in all these instances is you.", where 'you' == 'me'.

But digging deeper, I think it has something to do with the fact that I say what's on my mind, and could care less whether or not others disagree. This can equate to a lack of tact, of which I'm sometimes guilty. It also means I could care less about being "Right!".

I don't like messageboards because they are full of self-styled prophets who want nothing more than to be "Right!" and have others acknowledge the complex depths of their "Right!"-itude. Often heedless of the perfectly good conversation they're derailing, or the fact that I'm not interested in competing with them for "Right!"space, or what have you.

I won't get in to the particulars of my latest run in with odd-poster-behavior. I acknowledge that to others who don't know me, or who have never met me or seen me post before, I could be mistaken for a troll. Just so it's said, I do talk in person how I post electronically. I'm not afraid of people telling me I'm wrong. I am sick to death of other's prevailing shitty attitude when I go out of my way to explain that I intended no offense, and that I mis-typed.

On a completely unrelated note, on a whim I googled "Map of Europe" and my results include a massive picture of the UK slap-bang off the coast of The Continent. Praise Legba that the sunshine of knowledge has pierced the cloud of creepy ignorance! [eG]

Yes, I realize the subtlety of the situation. I can even kind of understand why someone might have gotten tweaked over my sort-of-gaff; I have failed to rationalize why it is important, beyond pointing it out and getting on with what was an otherwise interesting convo.

Bah. Not like it matters, really, and I've already wasted too much bandwidth musing about it.

Off to where they keep the whiskey.

Good night, and good luck.

Samedi

The Voice of the Drain

2005-11-24T12:52:00.000-05:00

A Happy Thanksgiving for all. I hope they're feeding the boys overseas a big pile of ham.

In previous years I've been witness to may debates, as to whether or not Thanksgiving is "PC".

Some seem to feel it glorifies genocide and imperialism.

I think it glorifies meat, beer, and family - whether that be blood-relations or whatever functioning "family" group one has...

In either case, my family (and their ancestors) haven't commited genocide against anyone. We do have some Vikings, I think, way way way back... so in the spirit of my ancestors I go to do all of the above, and give thanks to them, for leading on to me.

After all: Meat is Murder, and Murder Tastes Good.

Speaking of Vikings, I've debated running for public office under the auspices of "The Viking Economy". More on this later...

I'm off to the family' house.

So lads and lasses, because life passes
Come fill yer glasses for
Another round!

Samedi
--------
...who placed the machine guns for Erin go Bragh

Stop me if you've heard this: "So the UN thinks it can run the Internet..."

2005-10-20T23:16:00.000-05:00

You have? I thought as much. I must say it had me chuckling for days.

No one has, as yet, explained to me how an organization that can't do simple things like, say, spot mass genocide (and maybe, do some-fucking-thing about it) can promote itself to governing body of the Internet.

Of interest on the subject was this article - specifically the part where is mentioned

One reason why businesses are alarmed is the lengthy list of suggestions that have been advanced by nations participating in the U.N. process. Those include new mandates for "consumer protection," the power to tax domain names to pay for "universal access," and folding the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) into a U.N. agency. The United Nations has previously suggested creating an international tax bureaucracy and once floated the idea of taxing e-mail, saying in a report (PDF) that a 1 cent tax on 100 messages would be "negligible."

This is, somehow without humorous intent, set under the heading of being "Good for the World".

I'm sorry, but for a moment let us envision that in some far away hypothetical place the Internet is run by a global organization - we'll call it the Disjoined Nations.

And while we're visiting that place, we see countries that run over their own population with tanks when it's useful to do so (we might call one of those countries "China"), countries whose cultural and religious problems (For the sake of argument, we'll call them "Pseudo-Islamic Fascism") prevent them from having meaningful dialogue with the rest of the world, and naturally countries whose own ridiculous self-interest prevents them from doing anything, ever.

(Analogies come to mind, but are too numerous to list here. Feel free to insert your own.)

Now, America might not be a perfect place. Granted.
But the last time I checked, we weren't planning a round-the-world tour to inform other countries as to how we plan to tax their email usage, and how it's really no big deal.

If the UN, EU, or whoever else is that put off by not having their fingers in ICANN's rectum, they may feel free to assemble their own contraption. That is, if things such as money were not an obstacle, which it seems they are -- otherwise they would've done so already (I would have).

This really isn't a huge deal to me, honestly... but having read a good portion of the comments that followed the above article (specifically the comments of jerked-off EU residents who have a hard-on for pissing down the neck of their bastard child) I can only say that the best way to create a functioning global community is not to start a mudslinging contest with the people who have what you want.

Sometimes I think news exists to proliferate humankind's own self-important need for sensationalist bullshit.

Because if no one quotes you, you probably haven't said a thing worth saying...

This aside brought to you by Skullsplitter(tm) fine Scottish Ale, Shout & Scream and Zippo(tm) Fine Incendiary Products.

Samedi

There's no Loot, there's no Booze and it's no Fun

2005-10-16T22:16:00.000-05:00

I recently purchased the latest effort of The Tossers, and if you haven't, you should.

I've had nothing to say, as of late. This will remain so, until I do.

Tonight I had a discussion with a friend of mine, who is studying hard to become an intelligence analyst. We were talking about Stoicism, and whether religion (namely Christianity) was a boon or a curse.

He told me of a friend of his, a self-professed Stoic, who said he was more than happy in his way. I had to acknowledge the irony of being 'happy' devoting oneself to escaping 'happiness'.

Over the course of this conversation, we realized that passivity often creeps about in the guise of control.

I've know too many people who were afraid to just go and do, without worrying about whether it will complicate their life.

This sort of thing will cripple our generation. I've dated enough passive-aggressive-and-proud-of-it chicks to know this, for sure. By what sinister motive does one wake up in the morning and say "By God man! I've realized I'm quite happy in my current life situation, and this will bugger up every dream I've ever dared have! Bollocks to all of it!"

If you prick us, we bleed. Unfortunately, it often comes out yellow.

If you can't stand up for yourself, do us a favor - lay down and die.

Until then,,
Samedi

Blessed be the Caffeinated

2005-09-28T23:32:00.000-05:00

Something fast, before I go boot up...

I'm having a hard time telling the difference between emotional health and dead weight.
I'm not sure if it's better to be "right", or to be "correct", regarding a issue that is now both very close and so far away.

I hope that makes no sense, because I'm rather at a loss myself.

On a similar, yet irrelevant note: Tom DeLay.

I say let the courts decide, because that's their job. And because no two people I know could get over their seething hatred for "Republicans" long enough to think about it clearly.

Is it corruption, or politically motivated character assassination?

More importantly - will knowing make the country any better?

I doubt it.

Coffee now,
Samedi
------------

Let me tell you what I remember as a child

2005-09-26T23:10:00.000-05:00

Maxwell Smart is dead, and all I feel is older.

I grew up in New England. My ancestors were mostly the poor working class variety. People in that region of the country (as I remember it) had a real Devil-may-care outlook. Don't bother them, and they usually didn't bother you. When I was about 12, I came to live outside of Washington DC. Since then, I've become older, started smoking, got some tattoos, and had a few jobs.

Mostly, I've become jaded. At least I think so... sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between cynicism and anger, or between hope and denial.

I've had a couple girlfriends along the way. Most of them don't like me now. I've kept a good many more friendly-friends. I don't see them as often as I'd like, but they were my foundation when times got interesting. Several of my friends are / were in Iraq. I am proud of them. They know they might not come home alive. I am proud of them.
My family is more or less as normal as they come; if you consider mental illness, stress and the daily grind of suburban life normal. I love them very much, but I'm not sure they know it.

I love learning but I hate education. I tend to have a long memory. I can quote Goethe and Owen, Jarrell and Poe and Eliot. I despise Shakespeare. I can tell you, within a reasonable margin of error, who died where and how at Gettysburg. I can discuss, at great length, the virtues of the 88mm Fliegerabwehrkannone. I speak fairly good German, and can swear in several other languages. I read how-to books and old technical manuals for fun - when I'm not learning about War or Poetry.
I am, I've been told, "sharp". I have not graduated college, though I would like to.

I tend to be good at what I do. Unfortunately, the first thing I was really good at was my first dot-com. It was an intriguing three and one-half years. The Silicon Valley of the East was kind to me. The bomb hit, I got drunk and then got hired at another dot-com. Sooner or later, all the cool jobs were either gone or required skills I hadn't specialized in. As a result, I branched out - I'm now a bill collector for a small company with millions in the bank. I'm still good at what I do, and my job brings me no happiness except what comes with a paycheck.

Where I live we rub shoulders with gutterpunks, diplomat's kids, bar musicians and soccer moms. We are street preachers, cafe intellectuals and over-talented degenerates. We are the children of Reagan. The children of recession. The children of M.A.D., waiting on a "No Future" that never came. We have trust funds or unemployment checks. We have rich lives funded by retail wages, because we have time to enjoy them. We work well-paying 9-5 jobs for good salaries, only to come home and feel that we have failed.

Above all, we have a voice, though I'm not sure what it is like. It sure as hell is not Michael Moore, Bernard Ebbers or Kanye West.

I don't think I'm that voice. But maybe if I use mine, others will shut the fuck up and find their own.

I like hard returns, and I think that phrase represents the state of things better than I could ever explain.

Until then,
Samedi
------------
There's a lot goin' on. - Stiv Bators

[ ed. note - This post was rehashed after I lost about half of it to sleep deprivation and user error. I attempted to reclaim it from The Cookie. In the end, I reclaimed it from memory. It was a bit cooler in it's original form. fnord.]

Nothing In Particular

2005-09-25T23:05:00.000-05:00

It has always troubled me, the electronic medium. I am a great lover of technology, considering how much more crowded the world is as a result. Nonetheless, I will take a moment to explain my feelings on this. They will not seem relevant or interesting now. I hope to change that in the future. Most of the people I know (being other twentysomething products of Reaganomics, Clintonomics, Nine Inch Nails, gun control and dwelling in a suburb of Washington DC) communicate primarily via the Internet: instant messaging, email - and now, online journals and their ilk. I will make it plain that while I see the function of these devices, I detest the latter with vigor. This is not because I'm hell bent on "DIY", being an "old-schooler" or some kind of communist Luddite. Rather, I believe that the feeling, nay, the responsibility - of face-to-face (or voice-to-voice) communication is an endangered species. Most endangered species I could care less about; this one is different. Many people now use lifeless forms of communication to hide from each other, to insulate themselves from the world as a whole, and to gain a buffer from their own feelings. Hell, even writing a letter has become deadtech. Example: Young Lady A is briefly ass-over-teakettle for Young Man B. I say briefly because she, without warning, decides to drop him like hot iron. She does this via a text message. For convenience? Sure. To avoid having to look in his eyes, or hear inflections in his voice? Could be. [ed. note: Young Man B has since diffused the situation by demanding his copy of The Collected Poems of Wilfred Owen back and cutting her telegraph wires. --] To avoid dealing period? The conclusion of this experimenter is affirmative. Most of my friends have stopped calling each other entirely. They now "announce" everything from party invites to break-ups, funerals to what song they're listening to / what they are watching on TV via Livejournal. You tell me. - - The primary function of this thing is to tell you, whoever you are, about a Day in the Life of a man with nothing but life to lose. Melodramatic, you say? Maybe. Am I being honest? It sure feels that way. Interesting news, new tattoos or art projects will go here as well. A good amount of politics and various other social language may also. The main point is to ping the void, and see what happens next. Bis dann, und gut gesund.

Samedi
---
My nerves are in perfect order. - Wilfred Owen